On the island of Maui, HI, where I spent a big part of the winter, there is an art gallery named “Viewpoint Gallery.” I think that is a great name since art, has been created from a very special, personal point of view by a specific artist. A snapshot of a moment. Maybe a moment of a special time of the day, like sunrise or sunset, rain or shine. It is often a snapshot of a moment of personal feelings, a specific mood, or a time in the life of the artist. At another time of the day, in another mood, in another phase of the artist’s life, the painting might look quite different.
The same is true for each of us with our opinions. I, for instance, had quite a different opinion about my mother from the time I was a teenager to the time I became a mother myself. As a teenager and a young adult, I could not understand why my mother would worry when I wouldn’t come home on time. Later, when my own boys were late, I also worried. All of a sudden, I stood in my mother’s shoes and could see it from her standpoint.
Our worldview depends on our upbringing, our belief systems, our culture, our age, whether a male or a female, maybe our peer group, or the opinion of the newspapers if we still trust them. In short, we look at the world according to our viewpoint at that moment.
And that’s how we judge people and the world.
Is that fair? I believe that if we are honest with ourselves and consider our views just for a moment, most would agree and have to admit that it’s not at all fair. And yet, I find myself doing it again and again. Why? Is the conditioning I have been brought up with so strong? It might be.
However, here comes what I have learned during the course of my life when I started to practice standing in the shoes of another. I studied a culture, its history, read about and listened to its people, getting a glimpse into its culture. At this point in time, I do this with Russia. More and more I am grasping why their population would think and behave in a certain way. I have neighbors who are Russians, and I have neighbors who are from Ukraine. This helps me to be open-minded.
Of course, this is a very complex example. There are more simple ones. A friend of mine who is usually very bubbly was very quiet on our evening out with a group of friends. When I asked him why, he said laughingly, “Oh, I have been stand-up-paddling all day long, and I am just quite tired. I prefer just to listen more than do the talking.” Immediately I understood his unusual behavior. Between these two examples, of course, lie hundreds of others in all shades and colors.
It takes time and effort and practice to understand other people’s behavior. Sometimes I am successful in fitting into their shoes, and it broadens my horizon. Sometimes their shoes are just too big, too small, or too tight, and I cannot grasp their point of view. That gives me the opportunity to grow and expand my consciousness, to stay humble and accept that I don’t have to understand everything my mind wants to know. It’s enough to keep my heart loving.