Are There “Free Lunches?”

A friend of mine tells me about an event she is participating in. One of the many workshops you find on Maui’s spiritual scene. But it is also a beneficial event for the purpose of fighting for a clean environment for both Maui and our planet. Besides my friend is a guest speaker, so I decide to sign up for it. Since I am vegan, I book my reservation without lunch. I’m sure there will be a restaurant I can go to and maybe have a salad.

The morning session is really interesting. The first speaker is Joe Marshalla, a “Whol-osopher,“ as he calls himself, and the second, the main speaker for the event, is Doreen Virtue, famous for her books and card sets on angels. They talk about well-known topics, like “What is the purpose of humans on this planet?“ I have asked myself this question over and over again! I think I am getting closer and closer to an answer. Each such event I go to, or each book I read on this topic, often add another piece to the puzzle, and more and more, a clearer picture of my meaning in this world is shaping up. This is even more so since I closed my coaching practice back in Switzerland a year ago and decided to spend five to six months a year on Maui during the harsh Swiss winter months.

My working from home or doing coaching sessions via Skype seems to be coming to changing. Once again, I feel I am in a transitional stage. I am no longer afraid of these times where I feel I’m neither fish nor fowl, just somewhere in between, not knowing what will become of me and where I will eventually end up. Life has taught me not to worry because it has proved to me that out of the old, a brand new fresh ME will be born. Like one of those bright green new leafs on the banana tree in our garden, I am unfolding, ready for new life with all its adventures!

What I already know is, that my new assignment has to do with more BEING and less DOING! But what exactly does BEING mean? I am quite confident with the DOING because I have been practicing it all my life. Especially being Swiss, brought up in a strong belief system that one has to work hard in order to gain something. “From nothing comes nothing,“ is a saying we hear from early childhood on. Best not to sit around idle or someone will let you know that there is something you can DO!

But I know this is over for me and actually, I am practicing DOING less and BEING more already. The tricky part seems to make sure I don’t start doing in the BEING state! What exactly is the difference? Could it be, that, actually BEING is also a kind of DOING? Well anyway, this is where I am standing at the moment. These are the philosophical thoughts I am pondering. But after all, I am at a workshop that is just triggering thoughts like this. Am I now justifying myself?

In no time this morning is over. I look around, wondering with whom I might end up having lunch. The two nice ladies I met waiting in line to sign in are sitting at a table and will shortly be served lunch since they booked for the whole treat. Maybe it will be the gentle old lady next to me? She is petite and wears a white hat and is maybe in her eighties. Her fingers are curled and crippled from arthritis. I follow her out and we meet again in the lady’s room. We smile at each other in quiet acknowledgment knowing that women always end up in this room and inevitably meet there sooner or later. She is taking her time and I decide to head for the restaurant, which is located on the ground floor. I walk in and wait to be seated. I find myself next to a young woman who is also waiting to be seated and we start a conversation. We agree to have lunch together. We choose to sit outdoors where we are glad to be warmed up by the sun after sitting all morning in the air-conditioned conference room.

Curious, we start asking each other questions. I learn that she is visiting the Island of Maui for the first time with her mother and her five-year-old daughter. She heard about the event a day before and spontaneously decided to come by even though the event was announced as sold out. Despite that fact, they let her join and she was more than happy. “I haven’t heard of any of the speakers,” she says. “But you know, I am very interested and open to these spiritual topics.“ She lets me know, that she is a single parent and thinks she has chosen the wrong partner. She says, “But you know, I love my little girl above everything, and I will always follow her, where ever her life takes her.”

She also asks me many questions about my life and seems quite impressed that I have three sons and admits that she has trouble handling only one child. In a casual talk over our sautéed vegetables, I offer her some of the insights I have gained during my life and during the time I was a mother of three. I tell her that I found it most important to let go of my children and that they had their own life to learn to manage and had to make their own choices and learn from their own experiences. I told her I went through a divorce myself and that I found in time, it was one of my most valuable lessons of my life, and that generally, I found I learned and grew most in phases of life that were hard at the moment. I also told her that from the moment I switched my perspective and saw that a soul chooses its parent, I was able to let go of the guilt I had over leaving my husband and causing great grief for my children and family, including myself; that as soon as I could accept the perspective that it was my children’s choice to be born into a family that would eventually break apart, I gained great reassurance and confidence that it was always just right and good how it was.

In this manner, we kept on talking and the lunch break seemed to pass very quickly. Jenny, the young woman, calls for the waiter who brings us the bill. As I grab my wallet, she quickly gives the waitress her credit card and lets me know that she is treating. “I have learned so much being with you for lunch. You are a wonderful person, so this is the least I can do for YOU!“ she says.

I am surprised. What have I said? Nothing special. We just had a casual talk about life and I shared a bit with this young woman who seems so grateful for what I offered.

Could it be that this is what is meant by just BEING? I really didn’t DO anything. I was really just BEING me. That day I gained the insight that if I just share who I AM, there are indeed “free lunches!”