In early June roses bloom everywhere, in all colors and shapes. The church in my town organized an event on the art of folding roses with ribbons and cloth. I love to be creative in this way and went full of enthusiasm and anticipation. I was happy and felt great.
Those of us attending greeted each other and chatted for a while before the class started. I overheard two ladies talking about a woman named Erna who had died. Startled, I asked them whether they meant the Erna I knew. They confirmed, “Yes, it is Erna Johnson. Her funeral is tomorrow.”
It came as a total surprise to me. I had no idea that she had been sick with cancer for quite a while. She was only 57 years old. Although she was not a close friend of mine, I highly respected her. She used to work for the community firm and was extremely helpful to me when I first came to town. When I’d been gone for several months, she saved me the documents distributed until I returned. In the summer we occasionally met for a swim in the lake and always had meaningful talks. Actually, I was already looking forward meeting her at the Lido, since it was close to swimming season. And now she was gone as well as my happy mood. I was in shock and felt very sad.
I cancelled my lunch appointment with my friend the next day and went to the funeral instead. Later, back home while contemplating over life once again, it hit me like lightning. Emotions are responsible for feeling good or bad.
This might sound pretty obvious and natural, but at that moment I really understood what it meant. Moods can change from one second to the next depending on what happens around me, or the news I am confronted with. All the wisdom teachings, especially Buddhism say that to be at peace, we need to overcome our dependency on the wild waters of emotion and be able to maintain an evenly calm state of mind in all situations.
All of a sudden it dawned on me what HH Dalai Lama meant when he said that we should let go of our emotions and try to be more aware of our thoughts.
If I am ruled by emotions I am like the water surface changing with each movement of the wind.
Knowing that an emotion is only temporary, I can practice standing apart from my feelings and like an observer, watch my thoughts and reactions. I can wait until the stirring waves have subsided. Then I can stop allowing my reactions to boss me around with ephemeral whims. Instead I can sink deep down to the bottom of the ocean’s ground where it is calm and quiet no matter how stormy it is above. How comforting this feels. I have experienced this state of being many times during my meditations.
I am grateful to Erna. The shocking experience of suddenly learning about her death made me realize how my emotions can still throw me off balance. However, again I have learned that when I pay attention, they do not have the power to keep me unbalanced for long. Another of life’s brilliant everyday teachings.