Big crowds make me feel uncomfortable. I try to go to a shopping mall early in the morning, right after they open, when there are few people around. My feelings are the same when it comes to crowded restaurants. Some of my friends love to pick the loudest place to go to – and feel just great. Not me. I prefer a quiet place to sit. I don’t need background music, especially if it’s loud. If the atmosphere of a meeting place seems not to my liking, I’d rather leave and look for something better than sit down and endure. I have left a concert because it was too loud. I have changed seats because my neighbor’s perfume was obtrusive. I have asked for another hotel room because it smelled of smoke. I have even detected a broken sewage pipe because I could smell it, when nobody else first believed me.
When I go for a hike or a walk, I see the tiny flowers along the walkway. I quite often find some four-clover leafs. In rock formations I spot faces or figures as well as in clouds. I can hear trees breathe and believe that rocks tell me their story. A bird’s song or call makes me stop and listen.
Friends who know me well ask that I test the wine to see if it is corky or not. And, when I, as a teenager, was invited to my first opera, “Carmen” by George Bizet, it took me a year before I would watch another piece. It was so fulfilling and beautiful that I had no desire to top it off with anything else. It is the same with movies. They are on my mind for quite a while as I take time to digest them. Violent scenes I block out by closing my eyes, or I prefer not to watch such films. Listening to the news, I often have to cry as an incredible world-weariness overcomes me. It might be, that’s why I don’t have a TV nor often read the newspaper.
Given all of this, you might guess that it is not easy for me to live in a loud, often stinky world with too bright-lit cities, jam-packed timetables and with many people thinking I am a little crazy. There are often times when I feel out of place. I am definitely not of the norm and even sometimes was wondering whether I’m a little crazy. You can imagine that is was not easy for my family either to live with a mother or spouse who often groused and therefore had to leave the hotel or restaurant, when they were tired or hungry, just because it seemed unbearable for me to accept.
It was only a year ago that I learned about HSP, which means Highly Sensitive Person or SPS, meaning Sensory Processing Sensitivity. I had a guest in my B&B studio who attended a convention with HSP as their topic. She described herself as such a person. We had quite interesting talks, and she suggested that I might be an HSP person as well. After reading the relevant books, I felt acknowledged and recognized. I also felt a kind of relief that though my way of being might be somewhat different than that of most other people, nevertheless I am valued and recognized, not with a disorder, but rather a personality trait.
According to the research of psychologist Elaine Aron and her husband Arthur Aron, Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) is a “temperamental or personality trait involving an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli. The trait is characterized by a tendency to “pause to check” in novel situations, greater sensitivity to subtle stimuli, and the engagement of deeper cognitive processing strategies for employing coping actions, all of which is driven by heightened emotional reactivity, both positive and negative.” They also state that, “A human with a particularly high measure of SPS is considered to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). People with high SPS make up about 15 – 20% of the population.”
Well then, what do I take from all this? I think the most important factor for anyone, but especially for those who differ from what ever is considered “the norm” in their surroundings, whether it be a different color of the skin, a different language or in this case a different personality trait, is to accept ones’ self the way one is.
Nobody likes to stand out in a negative way. We all like to be loved or at least respected. The tendency of the crowd is to ostracize someone who doesn’t fit in their behavioral box. The same can be observed in the animal world. However, I believe, that the human species should evolve and develop a greater understanding and have compassion for humanity, namely one big family with differences. I believe mankind, in contrast to the animal world, should develop such traits.
I believe the world could use more sensitive people. Meanwhile I will appreciate myself as a person with HSP.
For more information check out: https://hsperson.com/